Motivating Your Unmotivated Teenager - How Not to Do It

Your teenager is a bright but unmotivated, do not use their innate intelligence. Its success is poor, and falls short of his potential. You are very frustrated, anxious and despondent, and none of your efforts to motivate him to work. You can see his future slipping away.

Among the efforts are employed to motivate him to be very positive and encouraging. You can support him with enthusiasm, saying he was smart. You can express your faith in your abilities and let them know that you are confident that he can do better.

Although there are many reasons that teenagers lack the motivation, this approach rarely works. While teen May I do not know why he lacks motivation, it can not be a lack of faith in their own abilities. But if a teen is, as is often the case, sad or discouraged about your school, this type of cheerleading is usually backfires.

One of the reasons is that the teen feels sponsor. Too much "rah-rah" is condescending. teen, feeling oats as a teenager, feels that you treat him as a child. And it did not feel good to him.

Second, if your comments are in conflict with the teen look at yourself, it feels wrong. As a result, you lose credibility in the eyes of your adolescent. Parents who have little trust with your teenager will not be able to have a motivating relationship with them. So well-intentioned strategies positively support your teenager actually backfires, producing the opposite effect desired by you.

Third, some children will actually feel guilty in response to his parents' encouragement. Now you have the unmotivated adolescent who, in addition to his poor performance, also feels guilty about his academic underachievement. You have inadvertently made ​​the situation worse.

What you do about it? Back off the "rah-rah." That does not mean that you are negative. It simply means that you will be less enthusiastically encouraging (but not discouraged) and take some time to listen to your teen's point of view on this subject. You are going to stop teaching and just admit (though not necessarily agreeing with) your adolescent perspective.

This is the first in a series of articles on motivating your smart, but unmotivated teenager. Specific approaches will follow. But for now, you will begin to talk less and listen more.